To an Angel · 20

It is said that a widow is easier to court than an unmarried woman; but in these very ticklish matters, I say that there are neither rules nor axioms; each person differs either by character or by the very excess of their passion. Agustín felt, on approaching the Countess, all the symptoms of morbid bashfulness, and while in solitude he prepared burning declarations, speeches perfectly woven and so persuasive that they would melt stones, the fact is that in the presence of his goddess he could not part his lips; his throat produced no sounds, nor did his mind coordinate ideas... Everyone will acknowledge that this state has little of the agreeable about it, and that Agustín was not happy, far from it.

In vain he appealed to his reason to overcome that stupid bashfulness... His reason told him that he, Agustín Oriol de Lopardo, a gentleman on all four sides, young, with fortune, intelligence, and abilities to make his way, was an excellent candidate for the hand of any woman, however handsome and aristocratic she might be supposed... Why should the Countess not love him? Why, let us see, why? He ought to approach her proud, arrogant, confident of his victory. And every night, on returning to his house, he resolved to do so... and the following day proceeded just as on the day before. He insulted himself; he called himself a craven, a fool, but he could not conquer himself... He could not, and he could not.

So that, after approximately a year of a passion so intense that it caused him cardiac disturbances, violent even to fainting, Agustín had not yet exchanged a word, what can be called a word, with his idolized widow. He went everywhere he could meet her, passed many times beneath her balconies, removed to San Sebastián on the same day as she and in the same train... and would still be ignorant of the sound of her voice had he not listened anxiously to the conversations she held with other people...

At length one day—precisely in San Sebastián—an easy opportunity presented itself to break the ice. It was upon the terrace of the Casino, at the hour when an elegantly attired crowd breathes the air and listens, or rather does not listen to the music, but to the infinite chatter, which makes another more subdued and softer murmur, like that of a beehive. Agustín was very near his beloved, and was devouring with his eyes the delicate profile peeping out beneath the hat all plumed with feathers. She was observing him out of the corner of her eye; and seeing him so close, suddenly felt an impulse to address him. It was not correct, it was not serious, it was not becoming in a lady... Well. Above social formulas stand circumstances, and there are such irregularities which everyone commits when impelled thereto by a strong stimulus... The little widow could not fail to have noticed that deep, perpetual adoration which surrounded her like the astral body surrounds the visible body, and she felt a fiery, feminine curiosity, an eagerness to know what that silent adorer would say, who drank and breathed her in. Resolute, with smiling affability, with a childish display that concealed the rashness of the proceeding, she exclaimed:

“What a lovely night! Is it not truly delightful?”

Agustín felt as though bells were tolling in his brain, he knew not whether for death or for glory; his blood suddenly whirled, his ears hummed... and with a stammering tongue, in a voice impossible to recognize, with a hoarse and faltering accent, he blurted out this phrase:

“Yes... sir! Yes... sir!”

It was as if another had spoken... A mocking personage inside Agustín was laughing sardonically, scoffing at the extravagant response... He had just called «sir» the only woman who existed for him in the world! Nothing but such an ineptitude had occurred to him! And now, with parched tongue and a heart flooded with shame, neither did anything else occur to him. How should it occur to him! The terrace was spinning round, the ground was slipping from under his feet... He uttered a hoarse groan, put his hands to his head, and rising, staggering, fled without looking behind. That night he thought several times of suicide.

The following morning, feeling himself incapable of appearing once more before her who must already despise him, he departed for France by the first train. He was absent for many years; during them he heard no more of his adored one. One day he read in a newspaper that she had married. Even then the news caused him grievous pain. Afterwards, slowly, he went on forgetting, though never entirely.

Nearly four lustrums had elapsed; grey hairs were streaking Agustín’s black locks, when on one of his journeys a lady with two young ladies entered the same compartment. Agustín recognized her... and even his heart, from which he suffered, warned him that it was she—much changed, much aged—but she. Was Agustín recognized? It is not known. The fact is that a conversation sprang up between both travellers, and this time, there being no hindrance of so senseless a love, Agustín chatted without apprehension, and the hours passed without being felt. The traveller spoke of her youth, and murmured confidentially:

“Of all the tributes people have been able to pay me, the one I appreciated most, because it was the most sincere, was that a young man who followed me like my shadow should answer me, when I addressed him for the first time: «Yes, sir...» Do you understand? Such was his bewilderment that he could say nothing else... The most enthusiastic compliments cannot flatter a woman so much as an embarrassment which seems the sign of true passion...”

“So... you did not laugh at that man?—Agustín asked.”

“On the contrary...—the lady replied, with an accent in which a tear seemed to tremble.”

Pages

Preface 5

Murdered Love 13

The Traveller 17

The Lost Heart 22

My Suicide 26

Don Juan’s Last Illusion 32

Retaliation 38

The Green Domino 44

The Angel’s Adventure 52

The Phantom 59

The Pink Pearl 65

A Likeness 72

Memento 79

The Gold Box 86

The Siren 91

Even So 98

Laura’s Hair 105

The Honest Offender 112

First Love 118

Inspiration 129

Champagne 136

Sister Apparition 142

Justice? 150

Beyond 156

The Guilty Woman 161

The Faithful Betrothed 166

Afra 172

A Dreamt Tale 179

The Good Old Days 185

Sarah and Hagar 194

The Gypsy’s Curse 201

The Viper 208

Blood from the Arm 215

Consolation 222

Raimundo’s Romance 226

The Torn Lace 233

Martina 240

Apologue 249

To Secret Insult 256

Gonzalo’s Religion 263

The Princess’s Panorama 263

Remorse 276

Early and in the Sun 283

Yes, Sir 293