Episode 1

THE LIFE OF LAZARILLO DE TORMES AND OF HIS FORTUNES AND ADVERSITIES

Unknown Author

Burgos Edition, 1554.

{Interpolations from the Alcalá Edition}

Prologue

I deem it good that things so notable, and perchance never before heard or seen, should come to the knowledge of many and not be buried in the tomb of oblivion; for it may well be that whoever reads them may find something to please him, and that they may delight even those who do not fathom them too deeply. To this purpose Pliny says that there is no book so bad that it does not contain something good; especially since tastes are not all alike, but what one does not eat, another pines for. And thus we see things held of little account by some which are not so by others. Nor should anything be discarded or destroyed, unless it be utterly detestable, but rather communicated unto all, especially since it does no harm and may yield some profit; for were it not so, very few would write for one reader alone, since writing is not done without toil, and writers desire, once they have suffered it, to be rewarded—not with money, but by having their works seen and read, and praised if there be cause. To this purpose Tully says: “Honor nourishes the arts.” Who thinks that the soldier who is first upon the scaling ladder has any greater hatred of life? Surely not; it is the desire for praise that makes him cast himself into peril. And so it is in arts and letters likewise. The preacher sermons well, being a man who greatly desires the profit of souls; but ask his reverence whether he is displeased when they say to him: “Oh, how wondrously well did your reverence preach!” Master So-and-So jousted wretchedly, yet gave his coat of arms to the jester who praised him for having borne his lances well. What would he have done had it been true?

And so it goes with everything: confessing myself to be no holier than my neighbors, I shall not be grieved if in this trifle, which I write in this coarse style, all those who find some savor in it take part and make merry with it, beholding how a man lived through so many fortunes, perils, and adversities.

I beseech Your Honor to receive this poor service from the hand of one who would have made it richer had his power matched his desire. And since Your Honor writes requesting that the matter be written and related in full detail, it seemed best to me not to take it from the middle, but from the very beginning, so that a complete account of my person may be had; and also that those who inherited noble estates may consider how little is due to them, since Fortune was partial unto them, and how much more was achieved by those who, having Fortune contrary, rowed with strength and cunning until they brought their ship to a good haven.

First Treatise

Wherein Lázaro relates his life and whose son he was

Know then, Your Honor, before all things, that they call me Lázaro de Tormes, son of Tomé González and Antona Pérez, natives of Tejares, a hamlet of Salamanca. My birth was within the river Tormes, wherefore I took that surname, and it happened in this wise. My father, whom God forgive, had charge of grinding grain at a water mill on the banks of that river, wherein he was a miller for more than fifteen years; and my mother being one night in the mill, big with child of me, her labor seized her and she brought me forth there: so that with truth I may say I was born in the river. When I was a lad of eight years, they charged my father with certain ill-made bleedings from the grain sacks of those who came thither to grind, for which he was arrested, confessed, denied it not, and suffered persecution at the hands of justice. I trust in God that he is now in Glory, for the Gospel calls such blessed. At this time an expedition was mounted against the Moors, amongst whom went my father, who was then banished on account of the mishap aforesaid, in the charge of a gentleman’s muleteer; and with his master, like a loyal servant, he ended his life.

My widowed mother, seeing herself without husband and without shelter, resolved to cling unto the good in order to be one of them, and came to live in the city, rented a small cottage, and took to cooking meals for certain students and washing clothes for certain stable boys of the Commander of La Magdalena, so that she frequently went to the stables. She and a dark-complexioned man of those who tended the beasts became acquainted. He would sometimes come to our house and leave in the morning; at other times he would come by day to the door on the pretext of buying eggs, and enter the house. At first, upon his coming, I disliked him and was afraid of him, seeing his dark color and grim countenance; but when I saw that with his coming our eating improved, I came to like him well, for he always brought bread, pieces of meat, and in winter firewood wherewith we warmed ourselves. So that, by continuing his lodging and conversation, my mother came to give me a very pretty little black brother, whom I dandled and helped to keep warm. And I remember that when the black man, my stepfather, was playing with the little fellow, the child, seeing my mother and me white and him not so, fled from him in fear to my mother, and pointing with his finger, cried: “Mother, boogeyman!”

Whereat he answered, laughing: “Whoreson!”

I, though but a young boy, took note of that word of my little brother, and said unto myself:

“How many there must be in the world who flee from others because they do not see themselves!”

Our fortune willed that the intimacy of Zaide, for so was he called, came to the ears of the steward; and upon inquiry made, it was found that half the barley given for the beasts he stole, and bran, wood, currycombs, aprons, and the horses’ blankets and sheets he caused to go missing, and when he had naught else he unshod the beasts, and with all this he helped my mother to rear my little brother. Let us not marvel at a priest or friar when one steals from the poor and the other from his convent for his female devotees and to help his own affairs, when love could move a poor slave to such deeds. And all I say was proved against him and even more, for they questioned me with threats, and as a child I answered and revealed with fear all I knew, even down to certain horseshoes which by my mother’s command I had sold to a blacksmith. They whipped and basted my poor stepfather with hot lard, and upon my mother they laid a sentence of justice, besides the customary hundred lashes, forbidding her ever to enter the house of the aforesaid Commander, or to receive the injured Zaide into her own.

So as not to throw the rope after the bucket, the poor woman braced herself and complied with the sentence; and to shun peril and escape evil tongues, she went to serve those who then dwelt at the inn of La Solana; and there, suffering a thousand vexations, my little brother was reared until he could walk, and I until I became a stout lad who fetched wine and candles for the guests and did whatever else they bade me.

At this time there came to lodge at the inn a blind man, who, thinking that I should serve to guide him, asked my mother for me; and she commended me to him, telling him how I was the son of a good man who had died to exalt the faith at Los Gelves, and that she trusted in God I would not turn out worse than my father, and begged him to treat me well and look after me, seeing that I was an orphan. He answered that he would do so, and that he received me not as a servant, but as a son. And so I began to serve and guide my new old master.

When we had stayed in Salamanca some days, my master, finding that his earnings were not to his liking, determined to depart thence; and when we were about to set forth, I went to see my mother, and both of us weeping, she gave me her blessing and said:

“My son, I know that I shall see thee no more. Strive to be good, and may God guide thee. I have reared thee and placed thee with a good master; shift for thyself.”

And so I returned to my master, who was awaiting me. We left Salamanca, and coming to the bridge, there stands at the entrance thereof a stone animal shaped almost like a bull, and the blind man bade me go near the creature, and when I was there, said to me:

“Lázaro, put thine ear close to this bull, and thou shalt hear a great noise within it.”

I, in my simplicity, drew near, believing it to be so; and when he felt that my head was level with the stone, he swung his arm with all his might and dashed my head against that devil of a bull, so that the pain of the blow lasted more than three days, and said unto me:

“Fool! Learn that the blind man’s boy must know one trick more than the devil himself!” and laughed mightily at the jest.

It seemed to me that in that instant I awoke from the simplicity wherein, like a sleeping child, I had lain. I said unto myself:

“This man speaks truth: it behooves me to open mine eyes and keep sharp watch, for I am alone in the world, and consider how I may look out for myself.”

We set out upon our journey, and in very few days he taught me thieves’ cant and the jargon of beggars; and seeing me of good wit, he took great pleasure in it and would say:

“Gold nor silver have I none to give thee, but many an admonition for living shalt thou learn from me.”

And so it was: next to God, this man gave me life, and being blind, he enlightened and guided me in the course of living. I am glad to relate these trifles to Your Honor, to show how great a virtue it is for men to rise when born low, and how great a vice to fall when born high.

Returning then to my good blind master and relating his doings, Your Honor must know that since God created the world, He never formed a man more crafty or sagacious. In his calling he was an eagle: he knew more than a hundred prayers by heart, in a low, measured, resonant tone that made the whole church echo where he prayed; and he wore a humble, devout countenance with great composure when praying, without making grimaces or gestures with mouth or eyes, as others are wont to do. Besides this, he had a thousand other arts and devices for extracting coin. He claimed to know prayers for many diverse effects: for barren women, for those in labor, for unhappily married women that their husbands might love them well; he cast prognostications for pregnant wives, whether they carried a boy or a girl. And in the matter of medicine, he would say that Galen knew not the half of what he knew for toothaches, swoons, and women’s ailments. In short, no one told him of any affliction but he would straightway say: “Do this, do that, boil such a herb, take such a root.” With this the whole world ran after him, especially women, who believed whatever he told them. From these he drew great profits with the arts I speak of, and gained more in a single month than a hundred blind men in a whole year.

Yet I would have Your Honor know likewise that, with all his gains, I never saw a man so stingy and close-fisted: so much so that he was starving me to death, refusing to grant me even half of what was needful. I speak the plain truth: had I not known how to help myself with my own subtlety and wit, I should have perished of hunger many a time; yet with all his knowledge and wariness I outwitted him so thoroughly that always, or most of the time, the lion’s share and the choicest morsels fell to me. For this purpose I played him devilish tricks, whereof I shall recount some, though not all went off with safety to myself.

He carried his bread and everything else in a linen knapsack, which at the mouth was fastened with an iron ring, a padlock, and its key; and when putting in or taking out anything, it was with such vigilance and so strictly counted that no man in the whole world could have stolen a crumb from him. But I would take the wretched pittance he gave me, which was dispatched in less than two mouthfuls. Then, after he had fastened the padlock and grown careless, thinking I was busy about other things, I would unpick a seam on one side of the knapsack and sew it up again, bleeding that miserly bag and pulling out not mere measured rations of bread, but handsome slices, bacon fat, and sausages; and thus did I seek a fitting time to make good the cruel shortage which the wicked blind man denied me. All that I could filch and purloin I changed into half-blancas; and when they bade him pray and gave him a blanca, since he lacked eyes, the giver had no sooner reached out his hand with the coin than I had popped it into my mouth and had the half-blanca ready, so that however fast he put out his hand, it was already reduced by my exchange to half its just value. The wicked blind man would complain, for by touch he instantly knew that it was not a whole blanca, and would say: