Episode 10

Sixth Treatise

How Lázaro took service with a chaplain, and what befell him with him

After this, I took service with a master who painted tambourines, to grind colors for him, and there also I suffered a thousand ills.

Being by this time a stout lad, entering one day into the principal church, a chaplain thereof received me into his service, and put into my charge an ass, four earthen water jars, and a whip; and I began to hawk water through the city. This was the first step I climbed toward attaining an easy life, for my mouth was measured. Every day I paid my master thirty maravedis of my earnings, and on Saturdays I earned for myself, and all above thirty maravedis on other days of the week.

Matters went so well with me in this trade that at the end of four years that I practiced it, by putting my earnings into safe keeping, I saved enough to clothe myself very honorably in second-hand clothes, whereof I bought an old fustian doublet, a threadbare coat with braided sleeves and vents, a cloak that had once had a nap, and an old sword, one of the earliest make of Cuéllar.

When I saw myself in the garb of an honest man, I told my master to take back his ass, for I would follow that trade no longer.

Seventh Treatise

How Lázaro took service with a constable, and of what befell him with him

Having taken leave of the chaplain, I took service as an officer of justice with a constable; but I lived very little with him, for it seemed to me a perilous trade—especially since one night my master and I were pursued with stones and cudgels by certain fugitives; and my master, who halted, was roughly handled, but they overtook not me. Wherefore I renounced that business.

And considering what manner of life I might settle upon to have rest and lay up something for old age, God was pleased to enlighten me and put me upon a profitable road; and with the favor of friends and patrons, all my hardships and toils endured hitherto were rewarded by attaining what I sought: namely, a royal office, seeing that no one prospers save those who hold one; wherein at this day I live and reside in the service of God and of Your Honor.

And that is that I have charge of crying the wines sold in this city, and at auctions and for lost goods, and accompanying those who suffer persecutions for justice, and declaring their crimes aloud: town crier, to speak in plain Castilian{; in which office, one day when we were hanging a thief in Toledo who carried a goodly rope of esparto, I recognized and understood the sentence that my blind master had spoken in Escalona, and repented of the ill return I had made him for all he taught me: for next to God, he gave me the wit to reach the estate wherein I now stand.}

Matters have prospered so well with me, and I have discharged the office with such ease, that almost everything pertaining to the trade passes through my hands: so much so that throughout the city, if anyone has wine to offer for sale, or anything else, unless Lázaro de Tormes has a hand in it, they reckon upon making no profit.

At this time, observing my diligence and respectable life, the Archpriest of San Salvador, my lord, and servant and friend to Your Honor, having knowledge of my person because I cried his wines, sought to marry me to a maidservant of his; and seeing that from such a personage nothing but good and favor could come to me, I resolved to do so.

And so I married her, and to this day I have not repented: for besides being an honest woman, diligent and serviceable, I have in my lord the archpriest all favor and assistance. And throughout the year he gives her at different times nearly a load of wheat, at Christmas her meat, now and then a pair of loaves, and the old hose he leaves off; and he caused us to rent a small cottage adjoining his own. On Sundays and feast days we almost always dined at his house. But evil tongues, which have never been lacking nor ever will be, let us not live in peace, saying I know not what, and I know well what, when they see my wife go to make his bed and cook his meals. And may God help them better than they speak the truth!{ Though during this time I have ever had some small suspicion, and have spent some uncomfortable suppers waiting for her some nights until lauds and even later, and there has come to my memory what my master the blind man told me in Escalona while holding the horn; yet in truth I always think that the devil brings it to my mind to make me unhappy in my marriage, and it avails him nothing;} for besides her not being a woman to care for such slanders, my lord has promised me what I think he will fulfill. For he spoke to me one day at great length in her presence, and said unto me:

“Lázaro de Tormes, he who regards the sayings of evil tongues will never prosper. I say this because I should not wonder if someone, seeing thy wife enter and leave my house, should speak ill. She enters for thine honor and her own, and this I promise thee. Wherefore look not to what they can say, but to what concerns thee—I mean, to thy profit.”

“Sir,” said I, “I resolved to cling unto the good. It is true that some of my friends have told me somewhat of this, and have even assured me more than thrice that before she married me she had brought forth children three times, speaking with reverence of Your Honor, since she is present.”

Then my wife took such oaths upon herself that I thought the house would sink with us; and afterward she fell to weeping and heaping curses upon him who had married her to me, in such wise that I would rather have been dead than that that word should ever have slipped from my tongue. But I on one side and my lord on the other said and conceded so much to her that her weeping ceased, with an oath that I made her never in my life to mention aught of that matter again, and that I was well pleased that she should enter and go forth by night and by day, being right well assured of her virtue. And so we all three remained in good accord. Until this day no one has ever heard us dispute upon the matter; rather, when I perceive that anyone wishes to say aught concerning her, I cut him short and say:

“Look you: if you are a friend, say nothing that may vex me, for I hold not him for my friend who gives me sorrow; especially if they seek to make mischief between me and my wife, who is the creature in all the world I love best, and I love her better than myself. And God does me a thousand favors through her and more good than I deserve; so that I would swear upon the consecrated Host that she is as honest a woman as lives within the walls of Toledo. Whoever tells me otherwise, I will fight with him to the death.”

In this manner they say nothing to me, and I have peace in my house.

This was in the same year that our victorious Emperor entered this famous city of Toledo and held Cortes therein, and great rejoicings were made, as Your Honor will have heard. And at that time I was in my prosperity, and at the very peak of all good fortune.

[Of what shall happen to me henceforth I will inform Your Honor.]